2007 Cruise - Wed

Today is the best day of the trip!

Greg gave us a french wake-up call. Olga answered in Russian. They called each other back and forth a few times. Silly people. We had to make sure that we woke up on time, because today we were taking a shore expedition to some Mayan Ruins. Wake up late = miss the expedition = be sad. But it all worked out, thanks to the french/Russian wake up calls.

Or did it all work out? The ship was stopped, but we weren't at the dock. What gives?

Apparently the current was too strong for us to dock, or something like that. So we ended up having to tender ashore again. We did this in the Cayman Islands, so it wasn't a big deal. It was a medium deal that in Mexico the tender boat was having problems connecting to the cruise ship to let us on. After about an hour everything worked out and we were on our way to look at really old rocks.

Our tour guide met us at the dock. He took us for a little walk to the buses. On our way we got to see interesting Mexican wildlife. There were some of those giant rats that Olga thought were cute. And there were some iguanas. There was also an American tourist. A stupid American tourist. We were walking down the sidewalks as a woman came crashing through our line shouting, "I can’t stop! I can’t stop!"

Seriously.

A woman decided to take a bike tour in Mexico and she couldn’t stop her bike. Even I was embarrassed to be an American then. Greg brought up a disturbing idea. This woman came to Mexico and gave Americans a bad name. It’s one thing to go to Europe and give us a bad name, but how pathetic do you have to be to go to Mexico and ruin our reputation. She should be flogged.

Once our tour guide got us safely on the bus he started his talk. His name was Caesar Augustus. Seriously. A Mexican named Caesar Augustus. He wasn't sure what his mother was thinking when he was born. Caesar talked to us about Mayan history on the bus ride to the ruins. It was really interesting and entertaining. But I don't remember any of it. Yeah, I'm a guy. That sort of thing happens.

Before getting to the ruins the bus driver took us all to this crazy Mexican shack where there were lots of Mexicans running around trying to sell us masks and hats and blankets and shiny stuff. Meredith and Olga were in heaven when they saw the shiny stuff. Unfortunately we didn't have enough time for me to show off my excellent negotiating abilities and talk the guy into giving me 100 pesos and the mask just for being there.

When we got to the ruins it was HOT! I heard back home it was supposed to stay below freezing all week. In Mexico I was sweating my rear off. I prefer the heat. At the ruins Caesar walked us around and showed us the ruins and told us everything about Mayan culture and stuff. See the Mel Gibson movie and you'll know all about it.

We had some free time to run around and check out the temple. The Temple of Doom!!!! That would be the temple where the Mayans performed human sacrifice. It's also the temple where the first Catholic Mass was performed in Mexico. Ok...wait for it...I'm starting to remember something educational...

The city we visited was Tulum. It is the only Mayan city on the coast. The Mayan folklore said that the Gods left the Mayan people by the sea. The myth said that the Gods would return from the sea one day. Imagine what the Mayans thought when they were the first Mexicans to see the Spanish ships and conquistadors.

Now think about it from the point of view of the Spaniards. They went to the new world seeking El Dorado and gold and riches. When the Mayans built their temples they lined the outside with a type of rock that shines like gold in the sun. So naturally, when the Spaniards looked at the city from their ships, they thought they had found El Dorado.

Ergo all the violence.

The guide told us that no one won the Spanish/Mayan war. He used his 'Holier Than Thou/Listen, I'm Teaching You Something' voice and told us that everyone lost a little bit. Both the Spanish and the Mayans. Everyone lost. I have decided to think about it a different way. Everyone won. The two cultures mixed together and the offspring were able to grow in a culture rich with both Mayan and Spanish tradition.

I don't know if I learned anything on the bus ride back to the dock. I went to sleep.

The seas were high again, so we had a little trouble getting back on the ship. We unloaded a few people on one side of the ship, but had to go to the other side before we could get everyone off. It was interesting.

After a little down time the six of us went to a juggling/comedian show put on by Shark Bait. These guys were great. Funny and talented. I was really impressed that they were able to juggle so well even with the low ceiling. (For those of you not in the know, it's hard to juggle with low ceilings.)

The dinner conversation that night was interesting. We started out talking about fitting our bodies through toilet seats. This was one of the tricks from the juggling show. After we talked about toilet seats a while we switched the conversation over to human sacrifice. Because that's always fun to talk about when you're eating. We finished the conversation off with a nice chat on how armed the cruise ship is. We never saw any weapons, and I assumed they had small arms, but I was curious about heavy arms. Was there a machine gun mounted somewhere on the ship? Would they be able to repel pirates if needed? Could the crew put down a mutiny? These were the things we pondered and discussed when the dessert arrived.