Tom Cruise decided he wanted to dress up like a Nazi, so Olga and I decided to go watch him. We heard the movie was ho-hum, but the fact that there aren't any well received movies playing in our local theater played a part in the decision. Before the movie, we met up with some friends at the local bar for a few drinks. It was a little strange that none of our friends wanted to see the movie with us.

Plot: Hitler is a very bad man. So some Nazis decide that it's in Germany's best interest to off him. Tommy Boy is a Nazi in Africa and he gets shot up by some airplanes. Um yeah, so who's Top Gun now? Anyway, Cruise goes to Germany, meets the people that are trying to overthrow Hitler, and they make a plot to blow up Hitler in a meeting. Unfortunately, mother nature foils them and Hitler lives. Sorry if that's a spoiler, but you should be able to deduce that from history. The movie ends with the traitors being captured and that's about it. BTW – traitors are patriots who fail. Kinda like terrorists in today's environment. But this is a movie review, not a political statement.

What I thought: I went into the movie hearing that it was horrible and Tom Cruise overacted. I think that's a big reason none of my friends wanted to go see it. Or maybe it was all the Nazis. I think Tom did a really good job acting. Actually, I think he was one of the better actors in the film. I thought the movie was pretty good too. Not great, but pretty good. I'm skeptical on how true to reality the movie was, but it was fun to watch upper government officials try to overthrow the government they are part of.

Should you see it? Yeah. It's borderline rental though.

OK, so for the past week or so everyone's been talking about Slumdog Millionaire and how its a great movie and it'll change your life when you see it. So Olga and I went to go check it out.

Plot: Some dude is playing the Indian version of who wants to be a millionaire. But he's from the lowest cast in India, so no one thinks he'll do any good. They start asking questions and he starts answering them correctly. So of course he get arrested because they think he's cheating. He goes over the parts of his life growing up in the slums that explain how he knows the answers. It's almost like a movie how everything matches up...

What I thought: It was a good movie. But not a great movie. I went in expecting an independent film that would be thought provoking and interesting. This was more along the lines of Disney. Everything lined up perfectly for the hero. The main characters were all one dimensional and cliche. The only character I thought was realistic was the police officer.

Should you see it? It was a good movie, so yes. Just don't expect anything super.

It was billed as The Movie of the summer. Heath Ledger's role as the Joker was billed as the definitive Joker role. I didn't think about it back then, but that's pretty much the only thing that was being talked about before the movie opened. As soon as we found out that we didn't have to work on Fri, Olga and I decided to go see the movie Thurs night at 12:01.

Plot: There's a lot going on here. Joker makes his debut in the new Batman movies. Harvey Dent makes his debut. Two-Face makes an appearance at the end. Batman tries to not be Batman. People fight each other, people fight themselves, there are explosions, a few yawns, then the end.

What I thought? At first I thought it didn't live up to the hype. I felt that the only really great thing about the movie was the Joker. Then I realized that's pretty much all the hype talked about, so I guess it did live up the the hype. But overall, I thought it was a disappointment. The story was cluttered, the overall acting was bad, the Batman voice was stupid, and the action scenes were ho-hum at best.

I was really disappointed with Christian Bale's acting. It was unconvincing and plastic. There were parts of the movie when I was thinking that the movie would have been a lot better if Michale Keaton came back. I thought Bale owned Batman in Batman Begins, but he just couldn't keep it with this movie.

I was also disappointed with Two-Face. A lot of the plot is about the good/evil battle within. So Two-Face appears for about ten minutes at the end and his role was pretty lame.

Naturally I talked with other people about the movie. Olga didn't like it. A few people coming out of the movie with us didn't like it. Everyone else I talked to thought it was incredible, but most of them are huge comic book geeks.

Should you see it? It was worth a matinée for the Joker, but don't use vacation leave.

Seriously, how many Negative Cutters does one movie really need? I counted three in the credits and I wasn't even paying attention until Olga pointed it out. I don't know what a Negative Cutter does, but I think three is a little overboard. If it were me, I'd hire someone a little more optimistic.

Plot: Hancock is this guy with super powers and super hangovers. He's a homeless alcoholic that causes a lot of damage when saving people. He runs into that guy from Arrested Development and goes to jail. Then there's a plot twist, some action and drama. After all that the credits roll and we sat there counting Negative Cutters.

What I thought: Screw the critics, this was a fun movie. I really liked the plot twist, because it made the plot a lot deeper and more exciting. Having said that it's a fun movie, I want to point out a few weak points. The lack of a good antagonist. The bad guys were chumps (not chimps – which would have been pretty cool). I think a great antagonist makes for a better story than a great protagonist. But this wasn't really an action movie per say, so the lack of a worthy antagonist wasn't really a huge detraction.

The only other part of the movie that was weak was the ending. It needed to end about five minutes earlier. No, I didn't have to pee, I'm talking about the plot. I won't give any details, because I don't want to spoil it for either of my readers, but it's pretty obvious.

Should you see it? Yep, it was fun. Just don't expect anything great or mind blowing.

So Pixar made a new movie. Ceilidh and I were hanging out last night, so we decided to go check it out. They make great movies, just like the Indiana Jones series. Yep, that's where this review is going.

Plot: Here's the plot for the first thirty odd minutes: Wall-e is lonely. Imagine a movie that starts out with practically no dialog or action and you'll have Wall-e. Then some probe comes and meets Wall-e. He falls in love, she tries to shoot him but eventually they make it back to his trailer park home that's decorated with Christmas lights. So yeah, the movie just went from stupid to redneck. Eventually there is some dialog, then a little action, some emotional string pulling, happy ending, roll credits.

What I thought: I don't want to pay sixteen dollars for two movie tickets so I can be preached to. The first half of the movie was preaching to the audience about how we shouldn't trash the planet. The second half was preaching about how we need to exercise so we don't get fat and lazy. Well here's my thought: the people at Pixar got fat and lazy and made a movie that wasn't much more than ninety seven minutes of trash. It was worse than Monsters Inc.

But wait, there's more to the story...

In the end, everything was ok. Since it was such a preachy movie, I'm guessing that we're supposed to get some life lesson out of watching it. The lesson I learned was that it's ok to trash the planet and let robots run our lives. In the end everything will work out fine and we'll all be happy. The more I think about it, the less I like this movie.

Should you see it? Only if you need to hide from someone.

Side-note: The little movie before the movie (which Pixar always does) was pretty funny and really good. It wasn't sixteen dollars good, and it didn't make up for Wall-e, but it was good.

Assassins? Check. Great actors? Check. Free evening? Check. Everything that matters was checked off, so Olga and I went to see Wanted.

Plot: There is a fraternity of assassins that go around killing people and making sweaters (because they're also basket weavers). You'll have to figure out the basket/sweater connection on your own. A young man gets brought into the fraternity and becomes an assassin. To teach him how to become an assassin they pretty much just beat him up repeatedly. After getting beaten the guy goes out to kill people. Then the plot gets twisted a little and more people die. There are explosions and reality gets a little bent.

What I thought? It was pretty cool. Kinda like the Matrix, but not really too much thinking. There was one scene that reminded me of the Matrix lobby scene (which is one of the best scenes in history). It was pretty cool when the assassins shot each others bullets out of the air when they were fighting. Cool stuff like that. I also liked the ending. There were two times that the movie felt like it was ending, but it kept going. It wasn't totally smooth and refined, but I liked that.

Was there something that bothered me? Yep, but it's a little bit of a spoiler to describe. There's a fight near the end. One guy has a knife and one guy has a gun. I'm not bothered by the fact that the guy with the knife can stop bullets with his knife. Here's what bothers me. Knife guy tries to stab gun guy with what looks like a sharpening stick. Gun guy stops it with his gun and shots it into knife guy (handle first). Then gun guy step or kicks it further into the body. I'm bothered because I feel that it should have gone through gun guy's foot before it went into knife guy's body. Everything else seemed realistic enough.

Oh, one more thing bothered me. The main actor called me pathetic. Piss on him, he sucks as an actor. First it was Darth Vader in Jumper, now this schmuck is talking down to me. That's just rude. If you're gonna talk down to the audience, then you should do it in a great movie, not some ho-hum flick that's gonna be out of the theaters three weeks after it opened.

Should you see it? Maybe. It was ok. Not great, but better than Hancock if just for how the endings stack up against each other.

Being Americans, [info]olga_ukraine and I were obligated to see the latest Indiana Jones movie. I heard it called Indiana Jones and The Search for a Retirement Home, and Indiana Jones and The Geriatric Crusade. Whatever, it was an Indiana Jones movie, and those are always great movies.

Plot: The Nazis are replaced by Russian communists led by a Ukrainian woman (who I'm told has an American accent when she speaks Russian). They are searching for a Crystal Skull that will be used as the Ultimate Weapon. So Dr. Jones gets kidnapped, because he's the only one who can figure out all the clues and what-not. Gun are shot, whips are used in non-sexual ways, and the people who came up with the ending were dragged into the street and beaten. With whips. OK, maybe that last bit was wishful thinking on my part.

What I thought: The Indiana Jones movie score is now 2-2. This one ranks right up there with The Temple Of Doom. Actually, this one might be a little worse. In an attempt to save the magic of Hollywood, George Lucas should be imprisoned for the remainder of his natural life. The following things sucked about this movie: the basic plot, the clues that Dr Jones is supposed to solve, those stupid ground hogs at the beginning, the idiot side-kick kid and the monkeys. Yes, George Lucas is so horrible that he made a movie with monkeys and it sucked.

Should you see it? No, stay home and pray for the people who wasted their time and money on this.

The other day we went to check out Prince Caspian. It's the new Narnia movie. I was a little weary at first, because the first movie was a little iffy. But this one looked darker and more violent, so I was good to go.

Plot: The four kids return to Narnia. But it's like a thousand years later and a bunch of Spanish people have taken over the kingdom and sent the Narnians into hiding. Because it's real easy for those Narnian freaks to hid and act all inconspicuous. There's intrigue in the Spanish castle, and the heir to the throne goes and teams up with the Narnians. There's a few battles, more intrigue, the kids run around like kids that don't know what to do, a lion makes an appearance and some trees totally kick the Spanish people's rear. Oh, and the river comes alive and eats someone.

What I thought: It was pretty good. I read that the special effects were done by the same people that did Lord of the Rings. It looked really similar which was good, but it lost a few points for lack of originality. I liked this movie a lot more than the first Narnia movie. It was funnier and darker. Two last words on my thoughts: needs monkeys.

Should you go see it? It was worth going to see. Take the afternoon off and, you've been working real hard lately and you deserve a break. Plus, the prince was sooooo hot, so if you're a twelve year old girl, there's eye candy for ya.

We were bored, and we had heard good things about this movie. So off we were.

Plot: Some guy builds weapons for the military. He gets kidnapped. So he builds a suit and escapes. But here's the kicker: the suit is made of iron. And he's a man. Lots of explosions, a little humor, great acting, some more explosions, credits roll, a teaser runs, we leave the theater.

What I thought: The first comic book I ever bought was an Iron Man comic. That was also the last time I bought an Iron Man comic, because I thought it sucked. So I was really skeptical when the movie came out. But everyone was saying how good it was and Olga suggested we go see it one morning. Thus I became an Iron Man fan.

This is a great movie. The acting and casting is perfect. There was humor. There were explosions. It was all around great. I'll even go so far as to say that this movie did not need a monkey; it was great just the way it was.

Should you see it? Yep, even if you aren't an Iron Man fan.

There isn't a real big build up to this movie. We took the kids to see it. One of my friends tagged along.

Plot: The main character, protagonist as some would call him, can teleport. So he robs banks and lives The Life. But then a white haired Samuel L. Jackson comes around and says, "I sick and tired of these God damned snakes on this God damned plane!" OK, maybe he doesn't say that, but he said something stupid and started messing with the jumper. Then there was another jumper and "Welcome to the war". Big battle involving a bus getting thrown at Mr Jackson, set up for Jumper 2, then roll credits.

Oh yeah, at the beginning Darth Vader called me a chump. Piss on him, he sucks as an actor.

What I thought: It was OK, but not that great. None of the characters were really all that great. The plot was OK. The effects were pretty good, but nothing mind blowing, just what you come to expect now from Hollywood.

Should you see it? Enh, if you're bored and there's nothing good on the History Channel.

This movie had chris025 and me written all over it. So after running 10 miles this morning, we decided to hit the theater.

Plot: Some God people do some God stuff but screw it up and get taken prisoner by some bad guys. A preacher hires some mercenaries to go get them and Rambo joins up. That's when the bodies start hitting the floor. Then someone gets fed to the pigs and all hell breaks loose and everyone who isn't on Rambo's side dies. Graphically and violently. Which is pretty much what we paid for going into this thing. I think there was some character development at the beginning of the movie, but I didn't pay attention to it so it didn't take away from the violence.

What I thought: It was good. It was real good. But there was something missing. At first I thought it was missing a battle scene or two at the beginning, but then I remembered the scene where he takes a few guys out with a bow and arrow and the scene where he uses a bomb to blow up some dogs. So no, I guess the movie wasn't lacking in violence.

So then I thought maybe something in the fight scenes was off. I realize Stallone is 60 or 70 so he was doing pretty good to still be running around and being hard core, but the fight scenes weren't very choreographed. I also realize that he ripped a guy's throat out, and that was pretty cool, but there wasn't much martial arts or leaping through the air. And I'm not talking that stupid 'flying' crap from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. It was a lot of sneaking up on someone or standing around with a machine gun. I'm just saying it would have been cool if he jumped out of a tree or did a cartwheel before ripping that guy's throat out.

It would have also been cool if there was a monkey in the movie, but maybe that's asking just a tad to much. They weren't running around in a jungle the entire movie.

Oh wait, yes they were. Twits.

Then as I was driving home I thought some more and figured it all out. There wasn't a really good bad guy. No one really stood up to Rambo. Sure it was 100+ soldiers against him, but he had a machine gun mounted on a Jeep. He also had a sniper with a kick-ass gun backing him up. So it wasn't really a fair fight. Even when the boat came up the river with a flame thrower and machine gun it still wasn't fair. They shot him once, but come on, it takes more than getting shot to put a stop to Rambo. This was the typical quantity over quality flaw. I was thinking it would have been cool if that Rocky Russian was in charge of the bad guys and the two of them had a knife fight in a cobra pit to end the movie.

Should you see it? If you want to see a LOT of graphic violence, then yes go see it. When we were walking out chris025 and I both said watching this movie made us want to go out and rent the other Rambo movies.

PS - One of the previews was 'Son of Rambow'. That movie looks great!

olga_ukraine wanted the kids to see the latest Veggie Tales movie, so off we went.

Plot: The King's brother kidnaps his nephew and niece in an attempt on the thrown. But some cabin boys save the day.

What I thought: A little too childish for me. Maybe a good place to take a nap if it weren't for all the kids making noise.

Should you see it? If you're old enough to read my posts, you're too old to watch this.